


Like Watching the Night Sky

by thehorrorinsymmetry



Series: angel's birthday extravaganza [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (subtle but it happens), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Pregnancy, Trans Poe, actor finn librarian poe verse, cw for mentions of a miscarriage, like super duper very established relationship, nonbinary finn, they renewed their vows for their ten year anniversary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 22:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehorrorinsymmetry/pseuds/thehorrorinsymmetry
Summary: They don't ring in their ten year anniversary and vow renewals with quite the same vigor as their wedding night but they still know how to have a good time in their old age.





	Like Watching the Night Sky

**Author's Note:**

> last part in the hollywood au and second last fic for angel! whew
> 
> there's some (i think) subtle references to a miscarriage but i wanted to mention it just in case

Finn drops onto the bed, falling face first onto the thick comforter with a groan.

Poe laughs from somewhere behind him. “You might want to take that dress off before you get too relaxed.”

He rolls onto his back, careful to not pull at the fabric, not willing to ruin it when it’s already made it through an entire decade of marriage and three wonderful, very curious children. “We’ve been married for ten years, if you want me naked you can just say it.”

Poe kneels onto the bed and grins at him, settling on top of his thighs. “It’s been a while but as I recall we actually managed to have a pretty good time before you took the dress off last time.”

He wags his eyebrows, warmth rolling through him at the memory of that night, at Poe’s weight on him now.

Poe wraps his arms around Finn, fingers searching for the zipper on Finn’s back. He holds his arms up and laughs after a moment with no success. “This would probably be easier if you were behind me.”

“Less sexy, though.”

He smirks. “Don’t talk yourself down, baby. You do some very sexy things when you’re behind me.”

Poe laughs, all warmth and laugh lines. He kisses Finn, licking into his mouth, tasting suspiciously like the cake he’d put away when they got back home.

Poe breaks the kiss with a satisfied grunt. “Ha! Still got it.”

He grins at Poe and lets him pull the straps down his arms. “You’re so sexy, I’m so glad I married you.”

Poe presses a kiss to his jaw and scoots down his legs, pulling the dress with him. They manage to get it off with a bit of maneuvering and Poe pausing a couple of times to give him an appreciative glance.

Poe pushes off the bed and disappears into the closet, reappearing a moment later without the dress. He smiles at Finn, pulling the top button of his shirt open as he walks toward the bed. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

He sits up on the edge of the bed and pulls Poe closer with a finger hooked into his belt. “A few times, but you know how much I like hearing it.”

“I love you,” Poe’s hands splay open on his shoulders, running up his neck and cupping his face while he’s unbuttoning Poe’s shirt. “I love you so much, Finn.”

He pulls Poe’s belt open, his fly, tugging his pants down until they pool around Poe’s feet. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Poe nods as Finn pushes his shirt down his arms. “I’m glad we’re married.”

“That’s good. We’ve been married for a long time so I’m glad you’ve liked it.” He pushes Poe’s undershirt up, palming at Poe’s warm belly.

“Ten years.” Poe murmurs, the wonder in his voice matching that inside Finn. He leans down and kisses Finn, humming against his mouth, nipping his lip before he stands up and pulls his undershirt off. “I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

He runs his hands up Poe’s sides, places a kiss on his sternum. “You’re just saying that because my dress still fit.”

“It probably helps that you didn’t have three kids.”

“Nuh uh,” He grabs Poe’s ass and pulls him forward until Poe gets the hint and straddles his lap. “One might think that, but you’ve given us three kids and you still take my breath away.”

A soft, pleased flush grows across Poe’s cheeks.

Finn  _ loves _ that he can still do that.

Poe shakes his head and puts his thumbs where Finn’s mouth is pulled into a smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Love you too.” He slides his fingertips under the waistband of Poe’s underwear and begins to drag the fabric over Poe’s hips, but Poe takes his hands and pulls them away.

Poe bites his lip, his chest lifting as he takes a deep breath. “So,”

Finn raises his eyebrows at his husband. “So?”

“I know we already exchanged presents for our anniversary and the vow renewal and everything, but -“ Poe pauses, the dimples that frame his mouth deepening when he begins to smile. “I have one more thing for you.”

“Poe -”

“I know, but this just kind of - happened.” Poe squeezes his hands and climbs off the bed, looking absolutely ridiculous and completely charming with his big smile and his underwear hanging low on his ass. 

He watches Poe disappear into the closet again and shifts up the bed, settling against the pillows. “Did you get some lingerie this time?”

Poe laughs from inside the closet. “Maybe for our 20th.”

He grins and lets himself imagine it for a moment. The kids will be so big by then - Shara will be nearly finished high school, almost an adult in her own right. Luna and Danny will be teenagers, trying to find themselves, with all the angst and excitement that comes with that.

Poe will still be the incredible man he is today.

As if Poe had heard himself mentioned in Finn’s thoughts he walks out of the closet with a wrapped box in his hands.

It’s about the size of a shoebox, wrapped with the same purple paper they got for Luna’s birthday two months ago. 

“Is it a sex toy? Are you trying to tell me you’re not satisfied with our sex life?”

Poe doesn’t react save for a small smile. Finn blinks, mentally runs through what could plausibly be in the box. “Wait, are you actually not satisfied?”

“Of course not.” Poe laughs as he climbs back onto the bed and crosses his legs, settling between Finn’s legs. “We have great sex.”

“Then what is it?”

Poe looks down at the box. He turns it in his lap, runs his hand over the top. He opens his mouth and then shuts it again and holds the box up to Finn’s chest. “Open it.”

He takes it from Poe, shakes it a bit, feels the how light it is. Poe is staring at him with his especially intense gaze, the one that does its best to burn a hole through him, that tells him this is probably something big.

The paper easily gives way under his fingers and tears away to reveal an actual shoebox.

Huh.

“You got me shoes?”

Poe smiles at him, just a slight pull at the corner of his lips, his hands warm and solid on Finn’s knees. “Just open it.”

He pulls the lid off and blinks at the brightly coloured tissue paper stuffed inside it. It amasses on the bed next to them, a big pile of blue and green and purple, until he finds a piece wrapped around something soft.

Poe is still staring at him with that same look when he unwraps it and finds a - teddy bear?

“It’s - cute?”

Poe laughs softly. “There’s more, Finn.”

He reaches into the box again and roots around until he finds a diaper. “Uh,”

Poe bites his lip, waiting. He looks between the diaper and the teddy bear. His breath catches in his throat at the possibility. “Poe,”

Poe’s eyes are shining in the low light. “There’s one more thing.”

He swallows, nodding slowly. A minute of searching passes with no success, and really, there’s not even that much space, it’s a shoebox, but - his fingers catch on something flat at the bottom.

An envelope.

There’s something inside it, something bulky that’s bulging the paper around it. He glances at Poe and tears it open, takes out the card and just stares.

Congratulations, in big, bold lettering, stares back. 

He takes a deep breath and opens it, looking blankly at the page full of Poe’s scratchy writing.

He blinks, stares at the first sentence until it comes into focus.

 

_ To my husband, the love of my life, my favourite person in the world, Finn. _

_ I love you. _

_ I know I say it a lot but that's only because it's always in the back of my head somewhere. It’s in every beat of my heart, every breath I take. _

_ I love you. _

_ I still remember the first time you walked into my library like it was yesterday. You were wearing this dark red hoodie - the same one I borrowed when you went back to New York - and these pants that made your ass look amazing (although I’d later discover that has a lot more to do with you than it did with your pants), and, of course, a baseball cap. You were so kind and funny and from the very beginning you had a piece of my heart. It wasn’t long until you had the whole thing. _

_ I fell in love over shared books and coffee and meals made together. I fought it, told myself every day that we were one day closer to you leaving, reminded myself over and over again how much I did not want to be in a long distance relationship, how much it was going to hurt when you left. None of it mattered. Not for a second. Not when I already loved you. _

_ Taking the chance on a long distance relationship with you is the best decision I have ever made. The same goes for moving in with you and marrying you and having a kid with you. And another, and another.  _

_ You have been all of my best decisions. _

_ This will be too. _

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _

_ Poe _

 

The words begin to blur as he continues to stare at them. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath against the dizzying rush of love for the man in front of him. 

Even after all this time Poe still knows how to make the ground under Finn shake like it’s nothing. 

He wraps his arms around Poe and pulls him as close as he can with the box still in their laps, tries to put everything he’s feeling, the love, the elation, the gratefulness, all of it into the kiss.

Poe breaks the kiss all too soon. He picks up the envelope and presses it to Finn’s chest, laughing even as he seems almost on the verge of tears. “Finn I’ve been holding onto this for almost two weeks and I really need you to look at it right now.”

He takes it from Poe and looks down at it. The outline is a familiar one, about the length of a pen, a little wider throughout the body with one distinctive flat end.

He takes the pregnancy test out.

It’s the same kind they’ve been using for years, the one they’ve kept stocked in the house since they started trying for Shara.

It’s got the same pink plus on the indicator, too. The one he’s seen exactly four times in his life.

The lines of the plus blur until the pink almost disappears entirely. He laughs, a bubble of absolute, pure happiness bursting in his chest and rushing through him.

They did it.

“You may have beaten me when we got married,” Poe murmurs, a soft smile that makes Finn’s heart skip a beat. “But I think I got you this time.”

He surges forward and kisses his husband, wrapping him in his arms. He kisses Poe’s cheek, his nose, his jaw, his mouth again, his neck, everywhere that he can reach. He kisses Poe until Poe starts laughing, a rush of warm air against his cheek. Poe wraps cups his face and pulls him up, their embrace more a press of smiles than a kiss.

He brushes his nose against Poe’s, running his fingers up the back of Poe’s neck. “We really did it, huh?”

Poe nods, biting his lip. “It’s still really early, I’m not sure exactly how far along yet, but -“

“But it’s positive.” He cups Poe’s face. “We got this far, this is big. We’re gonna do this.”

Poe turns his face towards one of Finn’s hands and kisses his palm. “If it doesn’t -“

“If it doesn’t work out the way we want it to we’ll handle it.” He rubs his thumb across Poe’s cheekbone. “I love you so much. Nothing's ever going to change that.”

Poe rests his forehead against Finn’s. “One more baby.”

“One more baby.” He grins. “And then I’m going to get a vasectomy, because that’s so many kids.”

Poe laughs. “It’s gonna get really hectic, huh.”

“Already is.” He shrugs. “It’ll be good. All our kids are already so big, I miss having a small one that always wants to cuddle.”

“Tell me that again when we’re up at 3 am with a crying baby and then have three kids to get to school a few hours later.”

He thinks about the sleepless nights, the teething, the endless smelly diapers, the first smile, the complete and utter fascination at everything. “I can’t wait.”

Poe shakes his head with a wry grin. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He splays his hand on Poe’s chest, slides it down to his belly. “Love you too, bean.”

Poe covers Finn’s hand with his own. “It was killing me to not tell you.”

“How have the symptoms been so far?”

“Not bad,” Poe grins at him. “A bit of nausea, everything smells really strong, the usual. I realized I should probably take a test when I made a peanut butter and mayo sandwich.”

He drifts back to the pregnancy cravings Poe’s had in the past, the stuff that was weirdly adorable to the handful of times he’d nearly gotten morning sickness himself from walking in on Poe eating one of his creations. “You’re like two months along and we’re already here, huh?”

Poe grins. “You laugh but Luna thought it was a great idea.”

He drops down onto his chest and presses his face against Poe’s belly. “She’s six, Poe.”

“And she's clearly inherited my taste buds.”

“God help us all.” He laughs when Poe whacks his shoulder, rubs his cheek against Poe. Something clicks in him. “Oh, so this is why you’ve been so gassy lately.”

Poe scoffs. “Really, Finn? I tell you I’m pregnant and this is how you react? I’m carrying your child. The  _ fourth _ one.”

“There's been a noticeable increase, sweetheart.”

“Maybe if you stopped putting beans in every meal my system would be a little less active.”

He snorts. “No, that can’t be it. There’s no need to be embarrassed honey, you’re farting for two.”

Poe covers his mouth with one hand. “We’re not having this conversation again.”

He kisses Poe’s palm. “It's okay, I told you just today I'd keep you for better or worse,”

Poe drops onto his back with a huff.

“In sickness and in health,”

“Oh my God.”

He laughs. “I'm so glad I married you.”

“Hm,” Poe sighs. “You're fine, I guess.”

He snaps the band of Poe's underwear. “Just fine, huh? That's why you've stayed with me for twelve years?”

“Mhm,” Poe rubs a hand over his shoulder. “Trying to find a new relationship is so much work.”

He rubs his cheek against the inside of Poe's thigh, trailing kisses down the soft skin towards his hip. “Gonna have to prove myself, huh?”

“Well, we reenacted our wedding today, we could reenact the wedding night too.”

“I don't think either of us have the energy for that.” He laughs against Poe's thigh. “Besides, I don't remember spending our first reception running after our kids the whole time.”

“No,” Poe sighs, scratching his nails over Finn’s scalp. “But if I remember correctly we did try pretty hard to make one that night.”

He nips Poe's thigh, laughing softly. “That was terrible.”

“Too bad, you're stuck with me now, buddy.”

He crawls up Poe's body, pausing to place a kiss every so often, until he can look into Poe's gorgeous eyes. Pressing his chest to Poe’s, he smiles at his husband. “I think I’m okay with that.”

Poe kisses him, slow and warm, over a decade's worth of affection in the contact. He pulls Poe’s lip between his teeth and presses their hips together, his mind drifting in the lazy motions. “Do you remember our first time?”

The wrinkles that frame Poe’s eyes grow as he smiles. “I remember being really nervous, wanting to make it be good so you’d remember me.”

“I never could have forgotten you.” He kisses Poe’s chin. “I remember laying with you like this and trying to figure out how I’d gotten so lucky, to get to share that with you.”

“You’re a dork.” Poe murmurs, nuzzling him. “Me too. Every time.”

He grins. “Dork.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m married to a movie star.”

“Wow,” He raises his eyebrows and tries to keep a straight face. “He must be a lucky guy.”

Poe waggles his eyebrows. “I think he’s about to be.”

He bursts out laughing. “I can’t believe I married such a nerd.”

“Yeah, that one’s on you.” Poe runs a hand over his hair. “But since you’ve already knocked me up and our kids are asleep, how about we have some nice, quiet, non-procreative sex and then sleep in until one of the kids wakes us up?”

He pretends to think about it for a minute, very aware that Danny most likely won’t sleep past seven no matter how tuckered out he was after tonight. For a moment he remembers that he’s leaving for a shoot in two days and could use some quality rest, but he’ll be damned if he’s not going to take every second he can get with his family. “That sounds great.”

Poe smiles at him. “Good, now shut up and kiss me.”

He hums, nosing at Poe’s jaw. Twelve years together, three kids and one more on the way, two weddings and countless moments shared, and Poe’s smile still goes straight to his heart.

He can’t wait to see what’s still to come.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> kudos and comments are very appreciated thank u


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